i just experienced the worst antithesis for valentine's day.

i beat the crap out of something made up of rubber (with a name.. it's conrad) for 3 hours straight.

and now, blisters are all over my palms.

fuck arnis.

as usual, valentine's day didn't spark any warm and fuzzies to me. as usual, i still don't have a clue why i don't feel what most feel as human beings with a hypothalamus and a heart.

i just don't have THAT for anybody or anything. maybe i'm a cyborg. or.. something is really messed up with my neurological network.

either way, i still don't give a fuck about valentine's. it's too red and flowery for my taste.